Don’t Fluffy-Butt Your Character

I find two writer’s ticks in almost every fiction manuscript I edit.

One is the use of direct address with a name in far too many sentences.

‍“Dave, don’t say that to me.”

“But, Karen, I love you.”

“You don’t love me, Dave,” said Karen.

‍“I do so, Karen! I really love you,” said Dave.

When was the last time you addressed your partner/child/friend/colleague/whoever by their first name? It’s pretty uncommon in practice: we just use you because identification is not necessary. We both know who they are. And as many will say, they only hear their name being used when they’re in trouble!

The other tick I have to edit frequently is introductions. Do you ever meet someone and pull a James Bond?

Meme posted by Lustige Katze; creator untraceable.

It’s highly unlikely to go full 007 or Fluffy Butt on this. Unless we’re in a formal situation where the register requires polite introductions, we probably would just shake hands and say “James Bond.” And in informal meetings, just “James. Nice to meet you.”

Every time a character fluffy-butts, it causes a reader stumble, because a) the James Bond trope is (perhaps subconsciously) recognized and b) it’s not the way of everyday dialogue. You want to keep the flow going, not jump in front of the reader with a stop sign.

We often pick up these tropes from other writers, and it’s natural to emulate styles that become ingrained. But you can rise above these elements whenever you introduce a character—if a formal introduction is even required.

And don’t get me started on the trope “Let’s do this.”

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